Well thats not disturbing at all.

Guess what Mitzy, I have been stalking you so closely that I know today is your birthday. I have been secret about it too, you have absolutely no idea who I am or where I live.
Ben Stevenson in west virginia

dear ben,
i'm so honored. i think. should i be?
-mitzy

From What is Wrong With You

Image by Family Oon via Flickr

Hi guys! A yound reader submitted me this story. Read and enjoy!








Once there was a stupid little dedicated spider. He decided to build a web.

A donkey came along. 

"Come, spider," he said. "Let's go frolicking." 

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

A hippopotamus came along.

"Come, spider," he said. "Let's go take some meth."

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

A fish came along.

"Come, spider," said the fish. "Let's go skydiving."

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

The fish, donkey, and hippopotamus felt like the stupid little spider was taking advantage of them.

So they devised a plan.

Finally, the stupid little spider finished his web. It was crummy and tiny and insects didn't get caught in it.

The stupid little spider said, "Oh well, I suppose I was wrong to take advantage of my friends. I'll go apologize."

The fish, hippopotamus, and donkey were waiting for him with flamethowers.

Then the stupid little spider got torched.

Then they torched his stupid little crummy dumb stupid spider house and all of his stupid little crummy dumb stupid personal belongings, and the police station just for good measure.

Let that be a lesson to you kids: don't trust fish.

The End

Look out next week for Chapter Two: The Stupid Little Spider's Revenge From Beyond the Grave!

Mitzy is Vacationing.

Mitzy will spend the next week on something frozen in Mongolia. There will be wifi, so still send questions!

- The Mitzy Manager

Congrats!

I have decided to use your blog as free advertising for my blog. The URL is http://name-not-shown.blogspot.com/

How are you still alive?

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Dear mitzy,
I think the Easter bunny is out to kill me. He put toxic chemicals in my basket. And he also put egg shaped nukes in my yard (which are about to simutaniously blow) how can I make sure Santa doesn't do this? (remember I still want to make the "nice" list)

- Blow-up in Belmead




Dear Blow-up,
Blow *him* up first
-mitzy 

no comment.

I'm spazzzzzzzziiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg!!!!!!!

Hhhhhhheeeeeellllllpppppp me.

I also have the same question about bubbles.

-waiting in willowville





Dear waiting,
whats with the bubbles?
-mitzy

I'm changing that.

on the  bottom of your blog it says  "2010"  its 2011 why haven't you changed it 

           love,

 Luke sheldon mayor of Luketown lake

Dear Luke shel.. whatever,

because i like 2010 better! Yeah, that's why. Maybe.

-Mitzy

Hibernation Awakened! (it rhymes, ok!)

zzzz......
(smack).............
knife............
facelift.........
stab............
wound.........
burn alive......

kill...........

ritual dance.......

ice cream.....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

yawn...........

Mitzy has awakened from her spring hibernation! I'm now back on, and if there has been anything I missed, it will be answered now. Now here is a picture that came up on my "Zemanta Assistant" Media Gallery.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife