Mitzy is Vacationing.

Mitzy will spend the next week on something frozen in Mongolia. There will be wifi, so still send questions!

- The Mitzy Manager

How are you still alive?

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Dear mitzy,
I think the Easter bunny is out to kill me. He put toxic chemicals in my basket. And he also put egg shaped nukes in my yard (which are about to simutaniously blow) how can I make sure Santa doesn't do this? (remember I still want to make the "nice" list)

- Blow-up in Belmead




Dear Blow-up,
Blow *him* up first
-mitzy 

I'm changing that.

on the  bottom of your blog it says  "2010"  its 2011 why haven't you changed it 

           love,

 Luke sheldon mayor of Luketown lake

Dear Luke shel.. whatever,

because i like 2010 better! Yeah, that's why. Maybe.

-Mitzy

Good for you.

I don't think pens are high quality enough.


Dear Anonymous,
Ok... and you question is?

I Didn't See The Movie

I saw the  Sorcerers Apprentice a few weeks ago, and I didn't get it. Who was that Buckey kid? Why did he make things explode? Why was Buckey's blond friend fond of a song auto-tuned to an inhuman capacity. What did you you think?

Guy in Des Moine, Iowa 

Dear Guy,

I have no clue what you are talking about.

-Mitzy

I Had To Look This One Up...

How many milliseconds are in an hour?'


Dear Anonymous,
There are 3.6 million milliseconds in an hour. (according to google calculators)
-Mitzy

The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze

Sorry if your questions from this week aren't answered Mitzy and her associates are going to a convention called "The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze" in DC. We will be back on Saturday.
-Mitzy

Blah, Blah, Blah.

I have a worm. He is green. he has an eye. It is yellow. He has 4 hairs. He has commented on Melanie doesn't care. He says eeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeee  eee e eee   eee e  e eee  eseee ee e e e e h  e ee e e. He Bounces.


Dear Anonymous,
I don't care.
-Mitzy

My Ninjas Will Hunt You Down.

Dear Mitzy,

I have written to you many times and you haven't responded. What gives you freaking jerk?

Dear Anonymous,

I don't like being called bad names. There will be my personal army of ninjas at your front door in less than 24 hours.

Mitzy

Sticks are Fun!

Dear Mitzy,

Your counter-part melanie is repeatedly ignoring my annoying comments about my worm. what should I do? 

Dear Anonymous, 
Poke her with a stick.

She's is Trying to Ruin you Life!

My principle just gave me a long talk about not doing drugs. I think she's on something. What should I do?

Dear Anonymous,

Are you really going to listen to your principal? It sounds like she is trying to ruin your life, somehow. Drugs dull your senses and make you feel good. Why would you give up that? Sure, it's illegal and "harmful" for your health, but it is worth it. Don't you think?

-Mitzy

Pot!

Ahhh.... Help!!!!

MESSAGE TO MITZY VIEWERS
**************************************************************************

Help! The squirrel with the bazooka has taken over my blog for using his photo!!!! He is randomly changing my backgrounds and he has held me hostage! If you see a squirrel with a weapon running around Times Square, contact the authorities immediately!
-Mitzy

 +  = TROUBLE

What Does Cheese Eat?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
- Rita


Dear Rita,
Since humans say cheese while taking a picture, it  is something we eat. So, what does cheese eat? The world may never know.
-Mitzy

You Can't Bribe and Manipulate the Dead

Hello Friend,

I am Dr Abdulaiye Rahmani the bank manager unit of the foreign remittance, department BANK OF AFRICA Burkina ,I got your email address recommended du Burkina FASO business consultant and i decided to contact you for beneficiary and a 100% free business transaction. I am trusting this deal to you by faith and hope that you will handle it without any betrayed .In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of US $9.5m ( Nine million five hundred thousand US dollars) In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire in 20TH of July 2002 in a accident car in Burkina Faso the Late Mr Sahid Ali Rahman, A citizen of Nationality of Kuwait and residence in Burkina Faso.

I agree with you to take 25% of this money will be for you and respect to the provision of a foreign account, 5% will be for expenses incurred during the business,70% will before us and my colleagues.

I suggest to hear from you.

Your's faithfully

Dear Dr Abdulaiye Rahmani

First of all, I found your email in my spam box. Second of all, Abdulaiye is a weird name so I am just going to call you Al. Now since we got that over with here is my answer Al. I would love to take the money, but I don't take dead people's money. It wouldn't be any fun because you couldn't bribe or manipulate them. So you are on your own.

-Mitzy

PS - That wasn't even a question.

You Probably Won't Even Read This...

Dear Mitzy,

Do you think this computer fad that is going on will last? I don’t think so and am looking for a nice typewriter and some carbon copy paper to stock up on before everyone else does. I welcome your thoughts.

Proud to Ignore Passing Fads

Bell Buckle, TN

Dear Bell Buckle(?),

I hope not. Typewriters don't have Safari (Internet) or email. That means I would lose my life's work! But, if you really want to thats fine with me. If you still have your computer look at this link. Maybe yo could move there.

• Typewriter fans bring out their old machines for a Type-In (philly.com)

Apparently Coke=Coca Cola, Not Coke=Cocaine

Dear Mitzy,

Did you know that Coke® strives to refresh the world? They also work by the values of leadership, monopolization, and rationalization. As well as that, they are part of a large scale recycling project. Also, Dr Pepper® sucks. To learn more about Coke® and other products of the Coca-Cola Company®, go to http://www.coke.com/ (ask your parent's permission before going online!).

Dave U., someplace

   

Dear Dave,

I thought you were on to something there, Then I realized you were talking about the beverage, Coca-Cola, not cocaine. Oh well.

Gummy Bears at the right price = :D

What is the secret to enternal happiness, joy, and gummy bears?

Woo hoo

Dear Woo hoo,

I think the secret is to find a store with low gummy bear prices!

- Mitzy

Wait a few more hours...

are you possibly possessed by a demon/dark god?

Dear ......,

Not at the moment.

-Mitzy

Why?

dear Mitzy

             

               I am angry that you haven't responded to any of my questions, some of which involve curse words and?or blasfemy. Why?

Dear Why?,

MitzyCares doesn't like to use bad language.

@#$$ %$#$ #$##$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Mitzy

You've got a BIG problem...

Mitzy,
You have to help me!!! My mom keeps spraying me with acid! I don't have a face, but I'm lucky to still have hands. And all I did was eat pudding. Help.
- Faceless in Fort Worth

Dear Faceless,
Who cares? Not me! I think it would be pretty cool not having a face. Look on the bright side... oh, wait. You can't. How do I solve problems like this? Talk to your school counseler.
- Mitzy