May 21, 2010

An Average Wedding

My brother was at a wedding, when the guy who says "if anyone does not want theses two to get married, speak now or forever hold your peace" said "if anyone does not want theses two to get married, speak now or forever hold your peace"

The husband was forced to change his name from "Bob" to "Avian Almanzo" by his wife.

Anyways, when that guy said "if anyone does not want theses two to get married, speak now or forever hold your peace", my brother said, "Why does Bob have to change his name?"

"Avian Almanzo" got offended, so he took out his gun and shot my brother 3 1/2 times. What should I do?
 
Dear No Name, Shoot "Bob" back 4 1/2 times. That will show him! Also, if the police are contacted, run.
Mitzy

Captive of Wal-Mart

Dear Misty,

You are my only hope. Last night, I received a call from our local Wal-Mart, and the woman seemed to be saying that there was a problem with a purchase by a member of my family. Muzzy, I didn't know anyone was buying anything at the Wal-Mart! This (very young) employee seemed quite worried and frantic about it, and hung up abruptly. Worried, I went right over to the Wal-Mart, where I was arrested for Disorderly Conduct.
Help, Muggsy! These Wal-Mart goons are holding me in a dungeon deep beneath the "Synthetic Fibers" department. I am close to starvation, as I have only bugs to eat, and my only communication tool is a cut-rate "Guzonu" brand computer with a weak internet connection. What should I do, Muffy?
Love,
William,

Captive of Wal-Mart
 
Dear William, I say, do what they tell you to do and keep on eating bugs for the rest of your life.
Mitzy