Dear Misty,
You are my only hope. Last night, I received a call from our local Wal-Mart, and the woman seemed to be saying that there was a problem with a purchase by a member of my family. Muzzy, I didn't know anyone was buying anything at the Wal-Mart! This (very young) employee seemed quite worried and frantic about it, and hung up abruptly. Worried, I went right over to the Wal-Mart, where I was arrested for Disorderly Conduct.
Help, Muggsy! These Wal-Mart goons are holding me in a dungeon deep beneath the "Synthetic Fibers" department. I am close to starvation, as I have only bugs to eat, and my only communication tool is a cut-rate "Guzonu" brand computer with a weak internet connection. What should I do, Muffy?
Love,
William,
Captive of Wal-Mart
Dear William, I say, do what they tell you to do and keep on eating bugs for the rest of your life.
Mitzy
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