You've got a BIG problem...

Mitzy,
You have to help me!!! My mom keeps spraying me with acid! I don't have a face, but I'm lucky to still have hands. And all I did was eat pudding. Help.
- Faceless in Fort Worth

Dear Faceless,
Who cares? Not me! I think it would be pretty cool not having a face. Look on the bright side... oh, wait. You can't. How do I solve problems like this? Talk to your school counseler.
- Mitzy

No + Yay = Nyay

is Nyay a word? What does it mean?

Dear Friend,
Yes nyay is a word. Haven't you heard it before? It consists of being very happy and saying, "Yay!" whenever denied. It's like a squirrel.
-Mitzy

Flamethrowers and Fish

I'm a failure at math my teacher hates me and well has givin me detention multible times. People say she hates my guts and to make it better she is my homeroom teacher and is threatining to hold me back! I read your colom everyday and would love to meet you! How can I get my teacher back? Your the best and I need your help!!!


Tim... A fish

Dear Tim...A fish,
You can go the easy way with simple pranks for example, sticking a thumb tack in her chair, or you can do it the Mitzy way. The Mitzy way is to get a hold of a flamethrower and a machete. I think you will know what to do after that. That is how I got rid of my 8th Grade math teacher.
Lots of Luck,
Mitzy