Q: I'm pretty sure that this "Mitzy" character gets dumber every day.
A: That's not a question! How am I supposed to answer that?
Q: Uh, I found your blogs whens i am drunkk, and don't know whatt giong on.. it is likee you are drunnk likes me!1! you are freend. ple4ez mary me!?!
A: No.
Q: I am a elderly pregnant teenager with a heart and back condition who is extremely sensitive to extremist or idiotic advice columnists. Is it okay for me to read this?
A: Of course! We welcome all people to read this blog!
Q: Seriously, are there actual people writing in to you or is it just you, your mom, your best friend, and some weird kids who come over occasionally, the oldest one of which is fourteen and writes all the FAQ questions?
A: Yes, actual people do write to me. I am offended that you would ask such a question.
Q: I am a police officer, and have noticed some extremely blatant violations of city, state, and federal law, and quite a few violations of United Nations sanctions and laws. I'm not an honest cop, so I'll be blunt: do you bribe well?
A: Stalker! Actually, I do pride myself on bribing quite well.
