March 19, 2011

I Had To Look This One Up...

How many milliseconds are in an hour?'


Dear Anonymous,
There are 3.6 million milliseconds in an hour. (according to google calculators)
-Mitzy

March 14, 2011

The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze

Sorry if your questions from this week aren't answered Mitzy and her associates are going to a convention called "The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze" in DC. We will be back on Saturday.
-Mitzy

Hehe...

Is it true you are possessed by the dark and powerful egyptian goddess Mitzaous?


Dear Anonymous,
Only on the weekends.
-Mitzy (aka Mitzaous)

Soggy Marajuana...

Hello I would like you to help me get drugnked out, a mixture of drunk and drugged out. Do you know were I could purchase an item to help me get Drugnked Out?


Dear Anonymous,
Hmm... that's a new one. I don't no, maybe you could get some dope dip it in alcohol and smoke it. (could be flammable) Seems like a good idea to me!
-Mitzy

March 11, 2011

I Hate This Squirrel.

The evil squirrel in NYC is back, and he likes tie-dye. Again, if anyone sees a squirrel with a bazooka in a tie-dye t-shirt contact the authorities immediately.

If it helps here is his mugshot. (sans bazooka and tie-dye apparel)

-Mitzy

I Once Had A Slave...

What should I do if there is some over-sized pothead that hangs out in front off  my locker every 6th period right before Algebra when I need my books the most
Scared in new hampshire


Dear Scared,
Well what shouldn't you do? Potheads can be fun to mess around with. Next time, ask him to bring you you're books and be your own, personal slave. Good luck!
-Mitzy

Friendly Wolves!

I'm cold and there are wolves after me


Dear Cold,
The best thing to do would be to try to make friends with them. try shaking their paw and see their reaction. If that doesn't work out, you are too late.
-Mitzy

March 10, 2011

Blah, Blah, Blah.

I have a worm. He is green. he has an eye. It is yellow. He has 4 hairs. He has commented on Melanie doesn't care. He says eeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeee  eee e eee   eee e  e eee  eseee ee e e e e h  e ee e e. He Bounces.


Dear Anonymous,
I don't care.
-Mitzy

My Ninjas Will Hunt You Down.

Dear Mitzy,
I have written to you many times and you haven't responded. What gives you freaking jerk?

Dear Anonymous,
I don't like being called bad names. There will be my personal army of ninjas at your front door in less than 24 hours.
Mitzy

Sticks are Fun!

Dear Mitzy,
Your counter-part melanie is repeatedly ignoring my annoying comments about my worm. what should I do? 







Dear Anonymous, 
Poke her with a stick.

Spanish is Old. Seychellois Creole is the New Fad!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the spanish alphabet has changed    

nyay  waco, TX

Dear nyay,
What is the point of knowing spanish? I find knowing Seychellois Creole (look it up.) more useful to know.
-Mitzy

I Like Dogs.

Wazzup M

Wares yo fav spot to chillax? 





Dear Anonymous,
Chihuahua, Mexico. The dog is cool and I get cheap drugs... and some illegal weapons. :)

"Vacationing"

Sorry! I'm back. I was a convicted felon on the run... wait ehhh I mean I was vacationing in Hawaii. Anyway, I'm back!

February 19, 2011

Yay!!!

I have some stuff that I don't want, do you want it?

Dear ____,
Sure. Only if it includes lethal weapons!!!
Mitzy