dear Mitzy,
My mom is so bored this summer that she is going to read twilight. Should I put myself up for adoption or disown myself from the family.
-Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I think you should watch her very closely. There have been reports of extreme fans turning into vampires. The symptoms include, a cough, headaches, and sometimes, in the worst situation possible, she will read book 2. If she is one, run into the middle of the street and yell something until CPS comes.
-Mitzy
Thanks, I'll keep you posted on any sign of-, what, NOO, mom! MY MOM IS A VAMP-. agggh.
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